I'm Not Where I Want to Be

There are times in my life as a Christian where I realize that I am simply not where I want to be.  I am not referring to contentment or even circumstance, but of my relationship with the Lord.  I sometimes get comfortable with feeling great about life and enjoying the joy that comes from the Lord, and I get off track in my walk with Him.  I get distracted by all of the things He has given me, and I forget to keep in often communication with Him.  I want my relationship with Him to be more than just thanking Him for His blessings and asking for His help and forgiveness.  That feels so skin deep and I crave a closer relationship than that.  Why do I forget that this is so important to me? 

I have been feeling lately like things just aren't right.  Life is going well, etc., but things feel...off.  I realized that my conversations with God for a while now have been very short and not really touching on the issues of my heart.  I desire that feeling of oneness with the Lord that comes only from sharing my deepest thoughts, worries, and hopes with my Savior.  He is the only One who understands all of me and the only One who can give me peace.  I have discovered myself, to my own shame, seeking for His answers, in all of the wrong places.  I talk to others about my life and hypothesize with them about what God might be doing, and ask for their advice, etc. I listen to Christian radio sermons and read Christian literature and look for Him there.  These are all resources that speak of God from someone else's viewpoint based on their experience with Him.  How can I expect someone else to know what God would have to say to me about my very specific issues?  It is as if I needed to get some advice from a friend (let's name him Bob).  Imagine that for some reason I avoided asking Bob directly, but instead asked everyone else who knew Bob what they thought he might say.  Wouldn't that seem silly?  If Bob was the only one who could answer my question, and no one else could possibly know what he would say to me, wouldn't it only make sense for me to go ask Bob?  Why do I play beat around the bush games with God?  Am I the only one who does this? 

Anyways, I have been making a decided effort over the past few days to speak to God often and search my heart for anything that I might need to lay down at His feet.  It feels so good!  I encourage any and all who are reading this to share each matter on your heart directly with God, even in just a quick prayer, the instant it troubles your mind.  It brings such peace and it's the only way to resolve those issues.  Happy communion with Him and may you experience more and more intimate fellowship with Him each day!