Tips on Motherhood; From a Book...and From a Kindergartner

(Caitlin & Declan watching Aiden's school Jog-a-Thon.) 

Anyone who is well acquainted with my family knows that my two sons (ages 2 and 5) are quite similar in personality:  generally compliant and obedient, sensitive to criticism, and eager to please.  They would also know that my oldest daughter (3 1/2) is a clever and crafty little thing, and while she demonstrates the above mentioned characteristics on occasion (when it suits her and with no discernible predictability about the matter), most often, she doesn't.  Yes, she enjoys accolades and special privileges, but she isn't necessarily motivated by the thought of them, to the point of consistent obedience.  Nor is she deterred in her acts of naughtiness by the thought of missing out on these things, or even by the thought of disciplinary measures.  She is just a different sort of child!

I hope you've noted that I haven't written her off as a " difficult" child, or a "bad egg,", or even tried to diagnose her with some sort of behavioral disorder (I'm rolling my eyes as I type that last part.)  She simply operates differently than my other children and I am having a tough time trying to figure out the best way to parent her.  Not into absolute obedience, mind you.  I am not a perfectionist looking to transform her into a robot-child with no spunk at all.  She is quirky and creative and independent...and we love her!  But, there has to be order in our home, and the children all need to abide by our household rules.  I will not change my expectations for behavior and completion of responsibilities because one child's personality is different than the others, but I do aim to find creative ways to reach her.  I want to train her up into a wonderful woman who respects authority and isn't afraid of hard work.  But, I also know that her strength and persistence, ingenuity and cunning can serve her well someday (if harnessed by Godly morals and some self control.)

So...didn't you mention something about a parenting book?  And a kindergartner?

Yes!  Good!  Let's get to that : )

I discuss Caitlin's antics with my Grandma Peggy often, and she babysits on occasion, so we try to brainstorm ideas on the matter together.  She volunteers at her local library branch, and she picked up a few parenting books that she thought might help, which were destined for the next library book sale.  One of the books is by the very credible and respected Dr. James Dobson, founder and recently retired president of "Focus on the Family."  It is titled "The Strong-Willed Child" and I anticipate some real nuggets of parenting wisdom to be found inside.  The other book, which I have skipped around through, and have nearly completed, is "Woman First, family always" by Kathryn Sansone, offering "real-life wisdom from a mother of ten."

I can't say that all of Kathryn's ideals and family-practices gel completely with mine, but for the most part, I am finding it to be very encouraging to me as a woman, wife, and mother, and I agree that it contains some excellent "real-life wisdom."  I love that the book is broken down into 3 main sections: 1) Your Self, 2) Your Marriage, and 3) Your Family & Kids.  This addresses the 3 main roles of 1) Woman, 2) Wife, and 3) Mother.  Sometimes, they feel all junked together into one mess, don't they moms?  But really, we all attained these 3 titles separately, and they really deserve to be addressed and nurtured as such.  Each of these 3 categories of the book is broken up into many subcategories, consisting of 1-3 pages each.  This is tremendously helpful to a busy mother, trying to read just a snippet at a time, (even if she doesn't have 10 children!)  So, 2 thumbs up for this book;  I hope you all find a free copy like I did, and benefit from it just as well, too.

Now, about the kindergartner...?

Uh-huh.  I'm getting to that : )

So, I am sitting at the kitchen table today with the children, eating cereal, and reading the aforementioned book on Mothering.  I serve the children cereal in pretty small bowls, so that they don't waste a lot of cereal or milk, so they tend to request several refills before the meal's over.  Aiden (5) had done so a few times, I'd obliged, and then promptly become consumed again by Kathryn Sansone's advice on child-rearing.  I soon become aware that  Aiden has said something to me, but I've missed it.  Putting my book aside, I look at him and say, "Huh?"  To which he replies (with the sage wisdom of a kindergartner,) "Mommy, pay attention to your children."

From the mouths of babes!

So, maybe I should chuck the books and consult Aiden for all of my parenting advice; he seems to know what he's talking about...

Until next time, here is a photo update of Miss Evelyn Rose, at 10 days old, and growing more lovely and lively by the day.  We are truly blessed to have her added to our family : )

Evelyn Rose

She's finally here! Born as the sun rose on Saturday, September 15th. Weighing 8lbs 13oz and measuring 21in long with dark blue eyes and a touch of brown hair. She is a tiny delight to our whole family and the children are enamored with their new baby sister. A more detailed birth story will come later.

Do We See A Pattern Here?

I pretty much write this blog for myself, as a sort of online scrapbook, but if you are one of the few that checks in every few months in hopes of catching that rare post, today is your lucky day!

I popped in and updated my tickers today; you may have noticed that our youngest, Declan, recently turned 2, and our oldest, Aiden, turned 5 on Labor Day.  Did you also notice my pregnancy ticker?  No need to update that, because it is indeed current, and yes, I really am 40 weeks and 4 days preggo, but if you've been reading since my last pregnancy, then you know that's nothing new for me, right?  As in, our last baby was 16(!) days overdue when we finally used that old tried and true castor oil method of home induction.  Well, it worked then when I was 42+ weeks, but we've tried it twice this time in as many weeks, with the expected gastric results and some contractions...that fizzled out after a few hours and were never very strong to begin with.

So...

I find myself the watched pot that never boils.....again.  Hopefully that changes soon, because we are eager to meet our lovely little lady, and I dream of sitting/walking/sleeping/existing normally again.  I will keep you all posted should there be any updates in this area...


In other news, Aiden started kindergarten in August!  He is doing well, coming home with tales of new songs, friends, and the usual kindergarten activities.  If you've followed my blog for awhile, you'll know that we had taken a homeschooling approach up to this point.  Well, with the new baby coming and all, we decided to utilize our local public school for this school year, and....see how it goes.  We have also discussed (and agonized) in great length the many social implications of public schooling (both good and bad) and those feelings have certainly impacted our decision as much, if not more than the convenience of some one else teaching Aiden while I am caring for a newborn.  I am continuing to encourage learning in our everyday life together (maybe I'm just a geeky fact-lover, but I've always explained the why and how of the world and life in general to my children, in age-appropriate terms, of course.)  We still do crafts and school-type activities at home like we've always done, though I am gearing things to stay in line with his kindergarten curriculum when necessary.  For example, Aiden's school teaches Modern Manuscript Handwriting, which transitions more easily into cursive.  I wish I could've anticipated this little detail before I had taught Aiden to write in what his teacher refers to as "ball and stick" letters.  Oh well, the kid will be diversified, right?

Another development over this summer, is that I finally decided it was time that I learn to knit...so I did!  I've always wanted to knit and used to pretend to do so when I was a young girl.  I checked out multiple beginning knitting books from my local public library (for free of course! Sweet!) including the ever helpful "Knitting for Dummies."  It has been a process which I am sure will continue for a long time, since I am nowhere near ready to knit up a lovely lacy cardigan like I dream of doing someday, but I have knit a few pairs of mittens for the children from a booklet I picked up at JoAnn's.  I agree with other knitters that, once you have the basic rhythm down, knitting is very relaxing and satisfying as you create an entirely new and unique textile.  In short, I have found a new hobby that I love, and I would encourage anyone to pursue their dreams of learning a new skill, no matter your age, or the skill level required.  (Hey, they probably have "Rocket Science for Dummies", so why not give it a try?)

That is all for now, though I'm sure I've left alot out, so when they come to me, I will add more updates of our summer adventures.  And I promise to add some pictures of all of this fun eventually...where's my camera?....and certainly will write a prompt blog post when this baby comes out....someday.  : )