Tips on Motherhood; From a Book...and From a Kindergartner

(Caitlin & Declan watching Aiden's school Jog-a-Thon.) 

Anyone who is well acquainted with my family knows that my two sons (ages 2 and 5) are quite similar in personality:  generally compliant and obedient, sensitive to criticism, and eager to please.  They would also know that my oldest daughter (3 1/2) is a clever and crafty little thing, and while she demonstrates the above mentioned characteristics on occasion (when it suits her and with no discernible predictability about the matter), most often, she doesn't.  Yes, she enjoys accolades and special privileges, but she isn't necessarily motivated by the thought of them, to the point of consistent obedience.  Nor is she deterred in her acts of naughtiness by the thought of missing out on these things, or even by the thought of disciplinary measures.  She is just a different sort of child!

I hope you've noted that I haven't written her off as a " difficult" child, or a "bad egg,", or even tried to diagnose her with some sort of behavioral disorder (I'm rolling my eyes as I type that last part.)  She simply operates differently than my other children and I am having a tough time trying to figure out the best way to parent her.  Not into absolute obedience, mind you.  I am not a perfectionist looking to transform her into a robot-child with no spunk at all.  She is quirky and creative and independent...and we love her!  But, there has to be order in our home, and the children all need to abide by our household rules.  I will not change my expectations for behavior and completion of responsibilities because one child's personality is different than the others, but I do aim to find creative ways to reach her.  I want to train her up into a wonderful woman who respects authority and isn't afraid of hard work.  But, I also know that her strength and persistence, ingenuity and cunning can serve her well someday (if harnessed by Godly morals and some self control.)

So...didn't you mention something about a parenting book?  And a kindergartner?

Yes!  Good!  Let's get to that : )

I discuss Caitlin's antics with my Grandma Peggy often, and she babysits on occasion, so we try to brainstorm ideas on the matter together.  She volunteers at her local library branch, and she picked up a few parenting books that she thought might help, which were destined for the next library book sale.  One of the books is by the very credible and respected Dr. James Dobson, founder and recently retired president of "Focus on the Family."  It is titled "The Strong-Willed Child" and I anticipate some real nuggets of parenting wisdom to be found inside.  The other book, which I have skipped around through, and have nearly completed, is "Woman First, family always" by Kathryn Sansone, offering "real-life wisdom from a mother of ten."

I can't say that all of Kathryn's ideals and family-practices gel completely with mine, but for the most part, I am finding it to be very encouraging to me as a woman, wife, and mother, and I agree that it contains some excellent "real-life wisdom."  I love that the book is broken down into 3 main sections: 1) Your Self, 2) Your Marriage, and 3) Your Family & Kids.  This addresses the 3 main roles of 1) Woman, 2) Wife, and 3) Mother.  Sometimes, they feel all junked together into one mess, don't they moms?  But really, we all attained these 3 titles separately, and they really deserve to be addressed and nurtured as such.  Each of these 3 categories of the book is broken up into many subcategories, consisting of 1-3 pages each.  This is tremendously helpful to a busy mother, trying to read just a snippet at a time, (even if she doesn't have 10 children!)  So, 2 thumbs up for this book;  I hope you all find a free copy like I did, and benefit from it just as well, too.

Now, about the kindergartner...?

Uh-huh.  I'm getting to that : )

So, I am sitting at the kitchen table today with the children, eating cereal, and reading the aforementioned book on Mothering.  I serve the children cereal in pretty small bowls, so that they don't waste a lot of cereal or milk, so they tend to request several refills before the meal's over.  Aiden (5) had done so a few times, I'd obliged, and then promptly become consumed again by Kathryn Sansone's advice on child-rearing.  I soon become aware that  Aiden has said something to me, but I've missed it.  Putting my book aside, I look at him and say, "Huh?"  To which he replies (with the sage wisdom of a kindergartner,) "Mommy, pay attention to your children."

From the mouths of babes!

So, maybe I should chuck the books and consult Aiden for all of my parenting advice; he seems to know what he's talking about...

Until next time, here is a photo update of Miss Evelyn Rose, at 10 days old, and growing more lovely and lively by the day.  We are truly blessed to have her added to our family : )